Over the last few years, I have been doing a lot of self development such as meditation, journaling, courses, reading, working with angels and much more. Although on social media some people may notice a difference in who I am as I had never really put myself out there on facebook but on a face to face level I may not seem any different, at least I don't feel any different.
I am in a totally different place to where I was a year ago, even six months ago for example I never ever thought that I would consider working with Angels. Not that I didn't necessarily believe in angels but I had nothing to do with them and never thought I would.
I am so much more open than I can ever remember.
In going through this journey I have stripped back so many layers that I had placed on myself, layers that I didn't know were there. These layers are made up of thoughts and beliefs that were not my own such as the things we are taught when growing up of what we should or shouldn't do or think, coping mechanisms to help me to survive a mentally abusive relationship and the art of not speaking my truth because the people around me didn't understand me.
I felt like a sleeping bag that had been stuffed so tight into its little convenient bag, made to make it be as small possible so that it can fit in where you need it to.
But now I am out of the bag albeit very crinkled, I am ready to be seen BUT when you've been hiding for so long where to do you start? How do you start to connect to who you are? I don't even know how to dress in order to feel that I am representing who I really am and how I feel.
How do you know what to say or when to say it because you have held your voice for oh so long. It's like the words are there in my head but a hand has been placed over my mouth and I cannot speak. But I have been hushed for far too long.
I have been looking for answers for quite some time, it's like I receive wisdom, information as a grain of sand but one grain of sand on its own doesn't equate to much but when grains are collected together, a beautiful sculpture can be created.
But I haven't been able to collect them in one place, they're still floating around in the wind without finding a place to settle.
From seeing 100s of clients I know that we think we know what we need but it can be very different from what the body knows it needs. One we can allow our body to lead the way we can heal.
So in that knowing I take a deep breath and take some time out for me to feel my way to my true essence, my true being without trying to stuff myself into a mould of something I'm not.
Next week I will be going to Costa Rica to experience Qoya, which is based on the idea that through movement, we remember. We remember our essence is wild, wild and free. #loveqoya
If you would like to try Qoya for yourself at home click here http://www.loveqoya.com/10-days-to-love-qoya-intro/
I feel so blessed to be able to take this journey.
If you decided to give it a go, let me know how you feel.
Also, if you like to follow my journey in Instagram would love to share a little piece of Costa Rica with and hopefully inspire you.